Thursday, January 14, 2016

10 Things to Think About When The World Ends (Do Me A Favor and STAY ALIVE!)

Have you ever just sat around and thought, "If the world ended right this second, what would I need to survive?" 
No? Yes? 
Is my inner apocalyptic-nerd showing? 
Oh. Well, don't worry. I'm unashamed about these things. 

I sit around and think about this every once in a while (Translation: I think about this A LOT.), and it got me to thinking: what sorts of things do we live with every day that we would HAVE to find a way to obtain to survive in a post-apocalyptic world? Here are 10 things I thought of, that perhaps you haven't yet! 

1. Dentists. I took my mom to a dentist appointment a couple of days ago, and it dawned on me in the parking lot: can you imagine living in an apocalyptic wasteland with a toothache? I'm not even joking! For centuries, people would die of tooth infections and an apocalypse would certainly make such a fate very real once again. My advice? Find yourself a dentist and marry him. Just in case. 
2. Pain Medication. Let's be real. When we have a headache, we reach for an Advil, and when we have a cold, we reach for DayQuil. In a world without medications, something as simple as a small cough could quickly become fatal. Luckily, I've heard that over-the-counter pills like Tylenol and NyQuil in tablet form could save well into the apocalypse as long as you keep the bottles sealed. Stock up, guys! 
3. Glasses. For people like me, who whole-heartedly depend on prescription glasses to get my work done, the prospect of being deprived of said lenses is petrifying. Thankfully, I think there are enough cheap reading glasses from Dollar Tree to make foraging for them in the end times worth our while. Crisis averted. 

4. Soap. I go into red alert mode when I haven't showered for just one day. Can you imagine going for weeks - or even months? in America, it's hard to think about. I honestly think that stocking up on soap and hygiene items is a good idea - apocalypse or not! 
Say hello to your new bedroom. 
5. Hot Water and Indoor Plumbing. Speaking of soap, we'll most likely be deprived of clean, filtered, hot water during the dog days of destruction. And hey, say goodbye to a flushing toilet. We'll all just have to get used to using shrubs. And honestly, during the apocalypse, that's the least of our worries, so OH WELL. (Note: Although you might want to store five tons of toilet paper in your basement. Just in case.) 
6. Telephones. This one is a no-brainer. I mean, come on. Who would be carrying around their iPhone 6 Plus after the apocalypse strikes the globe? (Please don't say Kim Kardashian. PLEASE.) Think about it, though. Without phones, you will have to resort to staying in touch with your fellow survivors the old fashioned way. The Pony Express, smoke signals, and cryptically delivered codes scratched on pieces of torn tree bark. (You get what I'm saying, right?) 
7. Matches. Starting a fire with two rocks is NOT EASY. I don't care how many times you've seen Bear Grylls do it. He doesn't count. He's not a real person. For most people, staring a fire with just a couple of rocks or some sticks is darn near impossible unless you've had a LOT of practice, and believe me, you're going to miss the heat of a fire on cold winter nights. I suggest you either join the Boy Scouts or buy Costco's entire stock of matches. Either or is a suitable option. 
8. Tweezers. I want to be one of the first to say: the facial hair on women in apocalyptic movies is not realistic! Let's face it, women tweeze and pluck a little bit now and again, and keeping our faces smooth and hairless would be a lot harder in the middle of a barren desert. Keep some tweezers on hand at all times. Mankind's fate may someday be in your hands, and you don't want to be sporting a unibrow when your big moment comes. 
9. Dog and Cat Food. I know, I know. Dogs and cats can hunt their own food...but if they have been domesticated, they most likely won't. What will they eat? Better be prepared to share your food portions with your sweet babies! It's one of the first things that I think of when I'm thinking about emergency supplies. 
10. Entertainment. Well, duh. No more movies, no more radio and no more television. Say goodbye to Food Network. Don't worry, there's an easy fix for this one. Books! They cannot be affected by the apocalypse. Thank goodness. Collect all you can, while you can! **ominous music** 

What kind of things would stock up in preparation for the apocalypse? What things would you miss the most? 

Thanks for reading, and have a great weekend! 

1 comment:

  1. Do you still get your period Summer because I think you forgot something. Or are you stocking up on them birth control pills. Menopause? Anyway that was a really good list. Book wise I am well prepared and yesterday purchased 10 (paperback) books in a day. A huge splurge but I loved it!


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